Can we learn something for the virtual world from the speed dating events that many places now hold to help business network together?  I went to an IOD speed dating event last night.  The speaker, Steven D'Souza of Merrill Lynch gave a very entertaining introduction on the trials of getting his forthcoming book on networking published.  The man has a self effacing whit and a charming laugh...I'm telling you, you would give the man anything he asks for after 5 minutes listening to him.  I am sure many of you have been to these events and you know the form - 90 seconds to talk about yourself only the golden rule seems to be "don't sell" - Network and by this I mean constantly think of someone you can refer them to.

So two people stand out for me who were plainly in the wrong room.  One was the General Manager of leading global manufacturer, you know the sort of company - tens of thousands of staff, sites in hundreds of countries, most of us use their products everyday not realising and you have never heard of them.  So I crash down in front of the man and I'm the 20^th mug he has spoken to in the last hour and I open up with

"Hi XXX, how's your day been so far?"

"Not what I anticipated!" came the reply.

"OK, so tell me about ‘ACME', what do you do?" I suggested as I slide my card across the table.

"No" came straight back and without a business card attached.  "You tell me about TROV...US".

"No problem,  we are a...." and off I go. 

And then after about 30 seconds I realise that he is not really listening so I stop and say

"This is not your sort of a thing is it?"

"I thought I was coming here to learn the secrets of networking, not to be hard sold to by hundreds of SME's"

"I see!" and smiled.

And to this day I have no idea what that smile said because he reached into his pocket and slide his card across the table.  Then it became obvious.  He's the sort of man who doesn't join Linked in because everyone would want a piece of him.  

"Do you want to come to our Cisco event at the end of October?  We talking about social networking and collaboration tools".

"Yes" came the reply "that's more like it."

The other was a girl who was recently employed by a printing company in sales.  I think she was new to sales or just new to meeting people - any way after speaking about her business in its entirity in 10 seconds, she finished with "do want to buy some printing?"  

"Err no thanks?" Pause .... A very long silent minute.  Gavel sounds. 

"Right shall I tell you a bit about us?"

"Na! Its alright"

This stuff is raw and undiluted human interaction.  Body language is saying more than the words and people are making snap decisions based on the inner most prejudice contrived from their reaction to how people look.  Today's social networks, consumer or corporate, build on the principles of referral and degrees of separation.  As my mate Austin keeps telling me "if you like me, you'll like my mates - well most of them".  

So is there a form of networking on the web that can happen in such vivid way.  The great thing about immersing yourself in those events are the surprises that spring out.  I had 4 good ones.  So how can the web build an environment where strangers meet, form snap judgements and make new contacts, whilst relying so heavily on human unspoken conversation.  Second Life ain't the answer...

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Will Critchlow, 8 months ago

That's fantastic. I love it when people just don't get it. In the online world, I guess that's a bit like people who submit their 'please buy our new product' press releases to digg...

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